Killing me softly.

World War III is going on today,

right here in my apartment.

It's Man vs. Vegetables.

And it's going to be a long, bloody battle.

He says, "I wish there was a vegetable that I liked."

So I ask, "What if there was a way to cook the vegetables so that it tastes better?"

"NO! I don't like vegetables and I especially don't like them when they're cooked. I will eat them if you hide them and I don't know they're there but as soon as you tell me there's vegetables in something I won't eat it again."

WHY?

What is it about those delicious little garden-grown fellas that make them such mortal enemies?

This has been a long painful weekend, but I've taken my big sister's advice: Life sucks! Suck it up, buttercup!

I'm making changes for me. I'm not making changes for anyone else.

And I saw my ex's little brother today.

He told me I look good.

Why would you be nice to me now that I'm not dating your brother when you hated me the whole time we were together?

But don't worry, I forgive you.

Maybe I do love sad.

So little to say but so much time,

despite my empty mouth the words are in my mind.

Please wear the face, the one where you smile,

because you lighten up my heart when I start to cry.

Forgive me first love, but I'm tired.

I need to get away to feel again.

Try to understand why, don't get so close to change my mind.

Please wipe that look out of your eyes, it's bribing me to doubt myself.

Simply, it's tiring.

This love has dried up and stayed behind,

and if I stay I'll be alive,

then choke on words I'd always hide.

Excuse me first love, but we're through.

I need to taste the kiss from someone knew.

Forgive me first love, but I'm too tired.

I'm bored to say the least, I lack desire.

Forgive me first love

forgive me first love

forgive me first love

forgive me first love

forgive me

forgive me first love

forgive me first love

Thanks, Bob.

"You may not be her first,

her last,

or her only.

She loved before, she may love again.

But if she loves you now, what else matters?

She's not perfect - you aren't either,

and the two of you may never be perfect together

but if she can make you laugh,

cause you to think twice,

and admit to being human and making mistakes,

hold onto her and give her the most you can.

She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,

but she will give you a part of her

that she knows you can break - her heart.

So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze

and don't expect more than she can give.

Smile when she makes you happy,

let her know when she makes you mad,

and miss her when she's not there."

- Bob Marley

This conversation is NOT over.

Sometimes I want to give up.

Everything seems so easy, and normally is.

There's just those times where we're at each others' throats about stupid shit and I can't take it.

He can't stand it when I make a valid argument.

All of the sudden, the conversation is over.

No, it's not over. Listen to EVERYTHING I have to say, not just what you want to hear.

I'm tired of the stupid fights about stupid shit.

Stop wasting my time.

Stop talking to me like I'm a child.

If I wanted to be treated like someone's kid I would just move back in with my mom.

It's fucking annoying.

I wanted to spend the night at my sisters' house tonight, but they're both busy. So fuck me. I'm stuck here.

I'll sit in the bedroom all night and watch "Being Erica" on the SOAP channel.

I don't want to have any real human interaction today.

And now I don't want to go to his dad's house tomorrow. Ugh.

Our anniversary and other fun adventures!

So apparently tomorrow is a "Choose your own adventure" day. Oh yeah, just like the old Goosebumps books.

He said, "I couldn't do what I wanted to do because I don't have enough money." [ahem, next excuse. I think you used that for Valentine's day.]

My options are as such:

Breakfast in the morning. [this is the only for sure thing because we have no food in the house, but he still doesn't know where we're eating.]

Lunch at Avocado Kitchen OR a picnic lunch of Publix subs on the beach [but he doesn't have a "beach body" yet AND the water is too cold to swim in and he hates going to the beach unless he's going in the water].

An afternoon in St. Augustine [where both of us have NO money to spend on anything] OR watching movies on Netflix at home.

The Ponce DeLeon Lighthouse OR the park at Rose Bay.

I mean, really it's just the thought that counts, but COME ON!

Don't you dare tell me that you have plans (again) and then at the last minute tell me you can't do what you realllllllly wanted to do, so here are some alternatives.

But this time I don't feel bad about it because I didn't get him anything.

I told him that I was broke. Like, more broke than ever.

I usually still get something small, but not this time.

He's not even getting a card.

Maybe he'll understand what it feels like to NOT get something for once.

I usually do as much as I possibly can, but I didn't feel like it this time, errrr, I mean, I didn't have enough money for what I wanted to do. I can tell you what I had planned and just hope that it will make you feel good even though we aren't really doing anything.

blah.

And on a lighter note-

tonight at work the cart attendant found a piece of paper that was clearly written by a 5 year old that read:

- Chicken Nuggets

- Chicken

- Crackers

- a drink

at the bottom of the paper there was a flower with a super long stem and some grass.

So I put it in Peter's mailbox with a post-it note that said "Peter, please stop leaving your shopping lists at the checklanes. P.S. I had no idea you were such an artist!"

and when I saw him I told him there was a very important message from the whole front end team in his mailbox.

Also, Heather told everyone that I was getting married tomorrow and that's why I wouldn't be at work. She also informed me that the cart attendant has a crush on me that is apparent to everyone but me, I guess. EW. I asked her to let him down gently with the news about my vows tomorrow. ;]

I love closing on Wednesdays. :]

Publix, where shopping is a pleasure.

So his brother who works at Publix as a cashier had a customer come through his 10 Items or Less lane at work who had a whole cart full of groceries and asked her, "Which 10 of these items would you like me to ring up?"
Oh. My. God.
I can't even imagine what kind of madness that would cause at work.

Today he came home from work on his lunch and said "It is SO busy today. I think everyone must be getting ready for Easter because they know we're closed."

His dad says to me, "That's what he says every time he goes to work. He goes to work for a 4 hour shift and tells me he needs to take a nap when he gets home because he's exhausted."

Today he's working 11-9 and he's scheduled at 11 tomorrow morning so he said, "I have to come home from work just to turn around and go right back to work in the morning!"

WHAT!? 14 hours between shifts isn't enough for you?! There are times that I would KILL for just 12 hours between shifts. And he's only a cashier at Publix for goodness sakes. It's not like he lifts anything more than a bag of dog food on any given day. THEY HAVE FREAKING BAGGERS ANYWAY!

Later while we were all eating dinner he called home on his break to tell his dad about a situation that had just happened.
"You'll never believe what just happened!"
(Apparently he calls and says that at least once a day.)
This is what he said (in his dad's words),

"I was helping a lady out to her car but before we walked outside I told her to wait for just a minute and she asked where I was going and I told her I had to get a drink first. So after I got a drink I put all her groceries in her car for her. Would you believe that as she was drivinging away she rolled down her window and threw a quarter out at me and told me to buy a soda?!"
Bahahah. Yes, Andy, I can believe that.
You made her wait so you could get a drink before you walked the whole, maybe 30 feet to her car.

She was definitely in the wrong for one reason though, sodas don't cost 25 cents anywhere anymore so 2 quarters really would have been more appropriate.

Apparently he's mad because he's been working there for almost 5 years now and he is still a cashier but he really wants to be working in Customer Service.

Has he lost his damn mind?!

2 free lip balms!?

So I'm hanging out with his dads today and his dad is telling me about how he's been on this craigslist kick for like a week.

He bought a love seat yesterday and today he bought a glass top coffee table. Pretty nice stuff anyway.

Then the following conversation happens:

Him: People give away the craziest stuff under the Free section if you're willing to pick it up. I saw someone had 2 lip balms they were just giving away. It's been there since Wednesday. I don't even know how it hasn't been snatched up yet.

Me: Where is it?

Him: I'm not telling you that. I'm gonna swing by and pick it up if its still there on my way home from dropping off Andy at work.

Me: Well if you change your mind before you get back, let me know because I'll have Matt stop on the way home. That's a freaking steal!

Him: It was cherry flavored too...there's no way it's still there. Someone scooped it up for sure.

LOL.

And I used to wonder why my boyfriend was so ridiculous?

He got it from his daddy.

The misadventures of C and L.

I haven't eaten fast food in probably a month and today we went through the Wendy's Drive Thru before we made our trip out to Flagler to look at a table.

Anyway, here I am nom noming on my Double Stack at a red light when I hear someone say my name.

I look to my right and low and behold is a girl that I work with just watching me stuff my face with this Wendy's burger.

That would only happen to me and in Ormond, of all places. Who the fuck would think someone from work would be out there?! haha

Then on our way home tonight some guy in a truck next to us is hollering out the window. I don't even know what he was saying, but I recognize him as being Johnny(my sister's ex boyfriend)'s dad cause the man is unmistakable and always says "Hey, aren't you Sarah's sister?" every time he sees me.

He is practically hanging out the window telling us, "I'm just having some fun and I'm a little wasted!" (Um, understatement of the decade, my friend.)

I recognize it as Johnny's truck so I point in the truck and say, "I wanna talk to Johnny!" and his dad says, "You know Johnny?" and turns around and says, "Hey John, this chick out here says she knows you!" He leans over, sees me, gives me a huge teethy grin and just starts laughing. He was clearly wasted too and probably shouldn't have been driving them anywhere...but I'm sure he was more embarrassed that his dad was trying to holler at someone he actually knew.

As the light turns green and they start to pull away his dad leans out the window again holding his hand out in a wave and says "I'm Johnny's dad, by the way!"

Oh, cool, nice to meet you for the umpteenth time, maybe when you sober up you'll remember that you already knew me.

Hey what's up story of my life.

I took a 2 hour nap today when I came home from work, like I did yesterday.

He woke me up around 7 telling me that he wasn't going to make dinner unless I stood up and stopped sleeping.

Jerk, I had to BE AT WORK at 7 this morning...you weren't even awake until 7:20 so shuuuuut up.

If I'm tired, I'm taking a damn nap.

I make dinner 80% of the time anyway, so I think I deserve a night off.

I drank soda with my dinner though so now I'm not tired and I know I'm going to have a hard time falling asleep.

Especially because I'm going to lay down with the TV off and just start falling asleep when he's just getting out of the shower, putting clothes on hangers and then in the closet, turning on the tv, getting a glass of water to drink before bed, and then taking all the covers away from me before finally getting settled in bed.

It's really the same routine every night.

I still haven't been able to convince him that I deserve to sleep with the TV off.

He can't sleep with the TV off but I can't sleep with the TV on.

It's the same situation, but for some reason he always wins.

FML.

Excuse me, are you a manager?

Today was the worst day I've had in a long time.

Work was awful.

Not that it was busy or too much for me to handle...but everyone was just so damn mean and they wanted to yell at me about everything.

I DO NOT WRITE THE POLICIES, I JUST ENFORCE THEM!

Please do not raise your voice at me over 25 cents; No, you do not get a free giftcard because you bought New Moon alone; No, you cannot buy more than 2 packages of strawberries; Yes, I know there was no limit yesterday; Yes, I know it seems silly to change the rules everyday; Yes, we DO need to see your ID when you buy alcohol even if you are a hundred years old; No, I do not have an Express Lane Open; And no, I will NOT open an Express Lane just for YOU; No, I will not give you a discount because the box is crushed on the corner; Sure, I will give you ONE HUNDRED FREAKING DOLLARS IN ONES because the girl from Starbucks said I could.

Then I came home, got in a terrible screaming match with Matthew about stupid shit and his inability to accept that I AM sometimes correct.

So I left. Yes, in the middle of the argument, changed out of my red & khaki, grabbed my purse and booked.

Turned my phone off and drove to Ormond because my Mom's house is my haven even if there are TONS of people there.

My mom has some sort of stomach bug and is all achy and I hoped that she would give it to me when I kissed her goodbye. Unfortunately, I have no ill feelings yet. So it looks like I'll be showing up for work in the morning.

I was gone for a good 2 and a half hours and if I didn't have to work in the morning and need my clothes from home I wouldn't have come back.

Now he's being nice and I still don't want to care.

I just want to go to bed.

Ken called, Barbie said she wants her car back.

Okay, so as excited as I am that He has a car, and don't get me wrong, I am completely thrilled, I am not excited enough to stand outside while he rev's the engine over and over and over and over again trying to decide if it is making a different noise than it was yesterday.

He asked me yesterday if I thought he should ride around with the top down and being the great girlfriend that I am, I gave him the most truthful answer that I could, "Definitely not".

I mean, it's one thing if you drive a Mustang GT, or a Spyder...but not a Mazda Miata, oh I'm sorry, let me correct myself, it's a Mazda MX-5. We don't call it a Miata, because even the name sounds like something that I would use during a menstrual cycle.

And at first I thought I was just having issues because he was paying more attention to the car than to me, but then I remembered that he never paid any attention to me to begin with.